I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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