Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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