i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
