if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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