If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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