i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
