she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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