like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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