the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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