i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.