He is such a slut. More and more my type.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
