So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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