there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
