I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
