Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
