i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
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I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
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What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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