I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
