I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
