She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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