a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
