How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
