I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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