I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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