No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
