The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
