I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
