): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
