what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
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I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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