If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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