Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
