'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
