awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.