my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?