I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
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After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"