i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
