What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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