I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
