he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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