my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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