he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
