i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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