JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
