theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
