She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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