Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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