We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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