in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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