Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
