so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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