yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
