Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize