We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize