I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
