Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
