I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize