Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
