Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
