he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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