yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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