just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
