I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
