i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
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