Your dad touched me again.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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